1. Did what s/he do come as a shock to you - or was it predictable, the
culmination of a visible process?
2. Did s/he humiliate you in the process, especially in public and in front of
3. Did you react with anger or even rage
that just wouldn't go away?
4. Following the events, were you desperate and in the throes of
castastophising ("I will never find someone to replace her") or
negative automatic thoughts ("I always fail in my relationships")?
5. In the aftermath, did you experience profound sadness (dysphoria) and
nothing gave you pleasure (anhedonia)?
6. Finally, in the wake of the dissolution of the bond, did you feel
excruciating pain, overwhelming romantic jealousy, or pathological envy?
If you scored 2-3, it is improbable that you will ever be in touch again. A
score of 4 prefaces a new phase of mere friendship or companionship between the
two of you. A score of 5 or 6 leads to frenzied - though usually doomed -
attempts to restore the relationship to its former romantic self.
PROMISCUITY (S1) and SELF-EFFICACY
Promiscuity (multiple men
simultaneously, group sex, casual sex, serial cheating, sex with relatives, age
inappropriate sex partners, casual sex with strangers, rape, flings on trips,
teasing, drunk sex, attempted group sex, sexting)
Full disclosure, reactive
disclosure, full and reactive disclosure
Organization of personality
Promiscuity (whore), personality
organization, and self-efficacy (mother) predict the strength of the
infatuation and subsequent shared fantasy.
Mortification is caused by: 1.
Substituting another man for me in a new shared fantasy AND 2. Exit from our
shared fantasy AND 3. Shifting all the blame and responsibility to me
(especially when such a shift is merited).